"The Book of Wall" - A Biblical Depiction of John Wall's Shooting Struggles

Lineage

1 And unto Strickland was born Whitney: and Whitney begat Arenas: and Arenas would spin fortune for the town, as rich as the silk of the kings of Montgomery and Columbialal.

2 And the town would continue to rejoice, eating and getting fat from the fish of the sea and the fowl of the air. 

3 But Arenas lay weapons – many quivers and bows – at the waist of Crittenton: and Arenas was banished for eight hundred and fifteen years.

Growth

⁴ And Arenas, before fleeing, begat Wall, and it was good.  And Wall would be nourished by the wisdom of Arenas, which was as rich as the meat of forty and two thousand fatlings, and the milk of seven and two thousand cows.

⁵ And Wall would grow lean and strong and scurry through the town, sandals dusty, with a leather ball in his hands.

⁶ And the town would watch Wall scurry from their houses.  And Wall would move with such force that their bowls of oil would tip over on their threshing floors.

Challenges

⁷ Now there was a day when the sons of the town came to present themselves before Wittmaalal and Satan came also among them.

⁸ And Wittmaalal said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered Wittmaalal and said, From going to and fro on the seventh street, and from walking up and down in it.

⁹ And Wittmaalal said unto Satan, Doest thou know my pupil Wall, that there is none like him in all the lands of Montgomery and Columbialal, a perfect pupil, one that transfers the leather ball from one tower to another with the speed of a chariot drawn by twelve thousand horses?

¹⁰ Then Satan answered Wittmaalal, and said, Yes, but can Wall temper his speed and project the leather ball?

¹¹ Hast not thou held festivals in the town, lauding his speed, extolling his forceful slams, mimicking his dance?

¹² And Wittmaalal said, Yes, this is true.  Wall hath feasted upon the fruits of the town and heard his name cried loudly from Weslechat and eight and fifteen thousand townspeople with the force of raging waters crashing down upon rocks.

¹³ And Wittmaalal said unto Wall, Young pupil, place thy faith in thine abilities and project this ball over a great distance and force the many ropes to retract rhythmically.

¹⁴ And the town began to grow cold.  And Wall began to tremble like a baby without swaddle, for he was unprepared.

¹⁵ And Wall began projecting the ball, but the ball would strike only the iron and brass.  And jarring sounds were heard throughout the land.  And townspeople bowed their heads and winced, for they were ashamed.

¹⁶ And Satan said until Wittmaalal, Has not thou instructed your pupil?  Has not thou taught Wall how to project the ball through the ropes?  Has thou not given Wall the books of Rose, Paul, and Williams?  HAS THOU TARRIED AT FESTIVALS MANY A NIGHT?

¹⁷ And as the sound of brass and iron grew stronger, Wall began to weep, and Wittmaalal, too, began to weep.  And Wittmaalal placed a hand upon Wall’s shoulder and Wall fell to his knees, exhausted from his toil and shame.

Redemption

¹⁸ And from a distant land came a man named Samaaual.  And Samaaual had riches from sixty and ten thousand years ago in his lands with Akeememenal and Hororoaul.

¹⁹ And Samaaual noticed Wittmaalal and Wall weeping and walked upon them saying, Fruits in your lands are not reaped by speed.  Toil in the fields learning to project your ball with distance.  Toil not traversing your fields with speed.

²⁰ And Wittmaalal and Wall began weeping more deeply, for they knew Samaaual spoketh truth.

²¹ Then Wall arose, and slowed his speed, and fell down upon the ground, and thanked Samaaual.

²² And for ninety thousand days and nights, Wall began learning the ways of Samaaual.  And Wall then projected the ball with great ease and brought great cheer to his land – the likes of which could not be measured with corn, wine, or oil.

²³ And it was good.